Sunday, August 17, 2008

Bad to the Bone

If you want to know how to be cool in Latin America, here are some tips (some of them apply anywhere in the world):

  • If you work at a park, wear all green (i.e., fatigues) with black army boots.
  • If you're a motorcycle cop—the kind that rides a dual-purpose bike—wear all green, army boots, and a fully equipped load-bearing vest. Never mind the fact that none of the little pouches in your vest have grenades or extra clips, or that you're carrying just a .38 Special.
  • If you work security at a supermarket, wear what appears to be a bullet-proof vest. Don't bother with a gun, of course.
  • If you're wearing a backpack, make sure to sling only one strap over your shoulder (this one is universal).
  • Wear your sweater on your back with the sleeves wrapped around your neck, like we used to do in the States about 25 years ago (that's not back, is it?).

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